Better sex: How to bring your partner to orgasm!

Experiencing an orgasm should be the icing on the cake for both partners. But the reality is that for many women, climaxing during sex is unfortunately just a dream. There is an orgasm gap, especially in heterosexual relationships : while men climax during sex in 95% of cases, women only do so around 65% of the time.

Why? Spoiler: It's rarely her fault alone (this is supported by the fact that around 86% of women in lesbian relationships have an orgasm). But don't worry, with a little knowledge, patience and the right technique you can change that.

Here you will learn why orgasm is sometimes so difficult for women to achieve, how you can change that and why lubricant can be a game changer.

Why do women often fail to orgasm during sex?

The clitoris, the unknown being

Did you know that the clitoris is not just a small point, but a complex organ? What is visible on the outside is just the tip of the iceberg: the majority of the clitoris is located inside and surrounds the vagina like a kind of crown. With up to 8,000 nerve endings, it is the most sensitive part of the female body - and the key to orgasm. Despite this, it is often neglected and not sufficiently stimulated during purely vaginal intercourse.

Stress is the #1 pleasure killer

Between to-do lists, deadlines and the question of what's for dinner tomorrow, there's little room for fantasy. Without mental relaxation? No orgasm. Give yourself time to forget about everyday life and consciously create moments in which you can concentrate only on each other. Also important in relationships: A fair distribution of everyday tasks helps to reduce mental load.

Communication is everything

Sex is not a guessing game and preferences are individual. Ask what she likes and what she needs. Also observe her non-verbal signals, such as breathing, body language or the movement of her pelvis. This may feel strange at first, but communication can also be practiced.

pain or dryness

If you go too quickly, it may be that she is not yet sufficiently aroused and wet enough. Friction can quickly become uncomfortable and cause pain. However, dryness does not always have to be related to arousal and often has hormonal causes (e.g. due to the cycle, the pill or phase of life - click here for more information). Lubricant can help: It ensures smooth movements and prevents irritation.

How do I make my wife orgasm?

Talking is Gold

Ask her:

• "What feels good?"
• “What should I do differently?”
• "Show me how you like it"

An honest conversation can work wonders. You can check in with questions during sex and also pay attention to body language: How does she move her pelvis, how does her breathing develop? After sex, you can talk about what happened. What was good? What could be done differently? This way, you can develop together.

Prelude is part of the main menu

Foreplay is not waiting for the “real thing” – it is the real thing. Here are a few tips:

• Get in the mood: Compliments, a massage or cuddling are the perfect way to start.
• Exploring erogenous zones: In addition to breasts and thighs, there are other sensitive areas such as the neck, stomach or lower back.
• Increase slowly : Start gently and gradually increase the intensity.

Sex is more than penetration

The key to orgasm is the clitoris . The clitoris is located where the inner labia meet at the top and is covered by the clitoral hood. However, what you can see is just the tip of the iceberg: most of the clitoris lies inside the body.

The visible tip, also called the clitoral head, is particularly sensitive because it is equipped with thousands of nerve endings - almost twice as many as the penis. The internal structure of the clitoris consists of two elongated legs (crura) and two erectile bodies that wrap around the vaginal opening and swell when aroused.

Sensitivity:
Start with gentle, circular movements around the clitoris. It's best to use a lubricant to make the touches smoother. Then increase the touches a little and find out how much pressure or speed is comfortable, as this can vary from person to person. Stay consistent if she starts breathing more intensely or moans - a sign that you're probably close.

Oral sex:
Use your tongue and try different techniques: circling, up and down movements or gentle sucking. Vary the pressure until you find out what she likes most. Again, pay close attention to her reactions - they will show you whether you are on the right track. Keep the movements constant when she is close to climaxing.

Further tips:

Other positions: Certain positions can make clitoral stimulation easier. In the cowgirl position, for example, she can take control and find the angle and rhythm that works best for her. Positions that allow direct stimulation with hands or toys are also ideal.

Sex toys: A vibrator or clitoral stimulator is not competition, but your best friend!

use lubricant

9 out of 10 women report having more fun during sex with lubricant.

Lubricant can:

• Make touches softer
• Intensify the stimulation
• Prevent pain caused by dryness

What makes a good lubricant?

• Gentle on the skin : No irritating ingredients such as glycerin or parabens.
• pH-balanced : Adapted to the slightly acidic vaginal flora.
• Versatile : Water-based to be compatible with toys and condoms

Our tip: The LubeLab lubricant is pH-balanced, sensitive and provides a natural, non-sticky feeling.

If it still doesn't work: Don't let your head hang down!

Sometimes it takes a little more patience. Here are a few more tips:

• Take the pressure off: Nobody has fun if it feels like a performance test.
• Give her time: Orgasms often don't come at the push of a button (except perhaps with a vibrator).
• Seeking support: Sometimes sex therapy can help to resolve blockages.

Mini-FAQ about orgasm

Question 1: Why does it sometimes work and sometimes not?
It depends on your mood, stress level and attention. A bad day is not a judgement on your abilities.

Question 2: Can lubricant really help?
Yes, absolutely! It ensures smooth movements, enhances sensation and makes touch more pleasant.

Question 3: What to do if she just can't orgasm?
Relax – and help her to do the same. Sometimes it takes time and a willingness to experiment.

Conclusion: The journey is the destination

Sex is not a science, but an art. It's not just about reaching the goal, but about enjoying the journey there together. With communication, a willingness to experiment and the right lubricant, you can reach the next level.